Wednesday, March 25, 2015

So I am typing this on my phone so we will see how it goes.  I have been struggling for months with trying to find a Dom to really connect with.  So far I have had several initial claims of interest and all flaked out for one reason or other.  I do not know where you all...I sincerely concider you all my great mentors cause I read what many of you write and much of it really hits home.....anyway back to my thought.  I do not know where you all got your Dom but you are all very lucky in deed.  I am so discouraged right now I cannot even fully put it into words.   I realize most of you have Dom partners that are life partners and that I fear is the key.....I do not have that option.  My life partner is just not that person.  On the other hand I keep asking myself why isn't that relationship enough. Why do I want someone to Dom me so badly?  So bad that I would risk everything I currently have.  It does not make sense.  I have had some interesting interactions, with some interesting characters, in my attempts to find someone who could fulfill this need... let me tell you.  It really has been one after another starting out strong..saying some of the right things and bam they disappear.  Only a couple have the balls to tell me that what I am looking for is not what they are looking for.  But overall I think what many of them are looking for is a sex delivery service.  The Dom seems to be present when it comes to how I can accommodate them but no real thought about my safety, well being, or how they can help me be the best I can be.  For them blow jobs and  anal fucking seems to be the bottom line.  When I hear those things I have to stop and think about the real reasons they are making a connection with me.  Some of these men...okay most of them have very tender egos.   Those seem to really get their nickers bunched if you say the wrong certainly is not an easy endeavor finding that special person who can put their ego aside and can lead you in a way that makes you want to be a better person.  I do not want to give up...I just have little faith.....

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